A sailor meets a pirate in a bar, and they take
turns recounting their adventures at sea. Noting the pirate's
peg-leg, hook, and eye patch The sailor asks "So, how did you end
up with the peg-leg?"
The pirate replies "We was caught in a monster storm off the cape
and a giant wave swept me overboard. Just as they were pullin'
me out, a school of sharks appeared and one of 'em bit me leg
off".
"Blimey!" said the sailor. "What about the hook"?
"Ahhhh...", mused the pirate, "We were boardin' a trader ship,
pistols blastin' and swords swingin' this way and that. In the
fracas me hand got chopped off."
"Zounds!" remarked the sailor. "And how came ye by the eye
patch"?
"A seagull droppin' fell into me eye", answered the pirate.
"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked
incredulously.
"Well..." said the pirate, "..it was me first day with the hook."
How do you get a scottish Pirate into a bath?
Throw in a piece of eight into it...
How do you get him out again then?
Throw in a soap...
What is the difference between bouncing on a royal naval officer and bouncing on a trampoline?
You´ve got to take your boots of when bouncing on a trampoline...
It's not how big your chest are, it's how you shake your booty...
How do you save a spanish Governor from drowning?
Take your foot off his head...
One day a pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. So the bartender says to him, "You know you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?"
And the pirate says, "Aaar, its driving me nuts!"