The Guide to sworfighting at Capt Smirk´s Big Body Pirates Gym

Insult from Pirates:
This is the END for you, you gutter-crawling cur!

Insult from Swordmaster:
I've got a long, sharp lesson for you to learn today.

Comeback for both:
And I've got a little TIP for you. Get the POINT?


Insult from Pirates:
Soon you'll be wearing my sword like a shish-kebab!

Insult from Swordmaster:
My tongue is sharper than any sword.

Comeback for both:
First you better stop waving it like a feather duster.


Insult from Pirates:
You make me want to puke.

Insult from Swordmaster:
If your brother's like you better to marry a pig.

Comeback for both:
You make me think somebody's already did.


Insult from Pirates:
Nobody's ever drawn blood from me and nobody ever will!

Insult from Swordmaster:
No one will ever catch ME fighting as bad as you do.

Comeback for both:
You run THAT fast?


Insult from Pirates:
You fight like a dairy farmer.

Insult from Swordmaster:
I will milk every drop of blood out of your body.

Comeback for both:
How appropriate, you fight like a cow!


Insult from Pirates:
Have you stopped wearing diapers yet?

Insult from Swordmaster:
I hope you have a boat ready for a quick escape.

Comeback for both:
Why? Did you want to borrow one?


Insult from Pirates:
I've heard you are a contemptible sneak.

Insult from Swordmaster:
My sword is famous all over the Carribean.

Comeback for both:
Too bad noone's ever heard of you at all.


Insult from Pirates:
You're no match for my brains, you poor fool.

Insult from Swordmaster:
I got the courage and skill of a master swordsman!

Comeback for both:
I'd be in real trouble if you ever used them.


Insult from Pirates:
I'm not gonna take your insolence sitting down!

Insult from Swordmaster:
You are a pain in the backside, sir!

Comeback for both:
Your hemorrhoids are flaring up again, eh?


Insult from Pirates:
I've spoken with apes more polite than you.

Insult from Swordmaster:
Now I know what filth and stupidity really are.

Comeback for both:
I'm glad to hear you attended your family reunion.


Insult from Pirates:
You have the manners of a beggar.

Insult from Swordmaster:
Every word you say to me is stupid.

Comeback for both:
I wanted to make sure you'd feel comfortable with me.


Insult from Pirates:
I once owned a dog that was smarter than you.

Insult from Swordmaster:
Only once have I met such a coward.

Comeback for both:
He must have taught you everything you know.


Insult from Pirates:
I got this scar on my face during a mighty struggle.

Insult from Swordmaster:
My last fight ended with my hands covered with blood.

Comeback for both:
I hope now you've learned to stop picking your nose.


Insult from Pirates:
There are no words for how disgusting you are.

Insult from Swordmaster:
There are no clever moves that can help you now.

Comeback for both:
Yes there are. You just never learned them.


Insult from Pirates:
People run away when they see me coming.

Insult from Swordmaster:
My wicest enemies run away at the first sight of me.

Comeback for both:
Even BEFORE they smell your breath?